Moved Blog... October 25th, 2009

When did I become so dependent....

12:23pm October 25th, 2009

Location: At the keyboard.
Mood: crazy
Music: There is nothing that can soothe me right now.

I sit here, trying to deal with Facebook - and trying not to cry… it has occurred to me that I have very suddenly become dependent upon Facebook.

How did this happen? When did this happen? It started so innocently - it was a game. A farm game for God’s sake. Who could become addicted to a farm game? This was perfectly safe. I knew I could stop anytime I wanted to.

Getting up in the middle of the night because I had planted something at a bad time… well, it only happened once. Getting up early in the morning to harvest, plow, and replant… happened several times.... well, more like most mornings. Checking on the farm during work breaks and lunch… it was my free time to do what I want with. I was perfectly fine eating a quick sandwich or hand full of carrots for lunch at my computer.

That I would worry about my animals might have been a sign. My first cause was to save the black sheep in the balloon. Oh my God; I was worried sick about the black sheep. I had to give him to a nice family who would remove him from the balloon and let him forever play with the children in the yard. I convinced myself of this in order to let him go. And those poor sad cows… those pink cows.... all those poor little black sheep. I would give them homes and pet them and love them. This should have all been a sign to me. I should have noticed that this was not just a game any longer.

Lately I have heard of turtles. I have never seen one, but want one so desperately. Everyone but me has one; I am sure.

There was a day or so a couple of weeks ago that Farmville was having problems that I should have realized the extent of my problem. They fixed it, and I soon forgot the actual torment I was feeling at not being able to tend my crops or my animals.

But now… Facebook itself is not working… I have lost not only my farm, but all of my Farmville neighbors - my School of Magic house mates… and all my friends - many of whom I have never met - probably never will… and my family and friends who have stood beside me through this addiction. Some of them actually sharing. Some of them recovering (only one really is recovering, but she lost her computer). Some of them just standing by, waiting to pick up the pieces.

However, I have lost Facebook contact with all of them. I guess I could use the phone, text or maybe tweet.... or even, God help me, get out of the house and actually visit.

But what about the farm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!